


Ghost of You

by Unscriptedtimetraveler



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Bucky Barnes Angst, Bucky barnes/reader - Freeform, F/M, Gen, M/M, Marvel Universe, Multi, Other, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-09-14 01:31:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16903572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unscriptedtimetraveler/pseuds/Unscriptedtimetraveler
Summary: Thanos has invaded Wakanda as you fight beside the love of your life amongst the madness (contains spoilers for infinity war)





	1. Into Thin Air

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, this is technically my first work on here, I usually write on Tumblr under the same name (unscriptedtimetraveler)and this is just to see how this works in case Tumblr decides to implode. Other parts to follow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback always appreciated

*A/N: Reader has some powers similar to that of Wanda’s but not like, in terms of the mind  
manipulation stuff more along the lines of just defense and stuff. Just wanted to incorpotae something different*

Your heart was pounding and you could still hear the sounds of yelling, snarling, gunshots, and crying as each sound chaotically blared together on the distant battlefields of Wakanda. It was like walking through a hazy nightmare, but it wasn’t like you could just jump awake any time soon. The nation that you had seen as such a beautiful light in the dark before had become shattered and stained with the destruction and death that Thanos had brought upon the world. Mustering as much of your energy as you could despite your injuries, you activated your powers once more, arms out in front of you prepared to blast anything and anyone that tried to come after you or your fellow teammates.The team had already slain a number of the Outrider creatures that broke through into the forest, but you all knew that there were certainly more waiting beyond the forest edge to strike.

You stood defensive, scouting out surroundings, but you nearly jumped and attacked at the feeling of Bucky brushing against the side of your hip, the scope of his gun up to his eye as he shot off another round of bullets. As you dimmed your powers slightly, he lowered his gun just barely. Still standing protectively, he looked at you, before asking, “Doll, are you hurt at all?”  
“Just some cuts and bruises all over, and one of the alien things cut up my arm pretty bad, but I’ll manage. I’m lucky that’s all that’s happened to me,” your voice cracked as you spoke as you tried not to sound too afraid, but then again, it was inevitable here. A single tear slipped down your cheek as you looked back up to Bucky, “What about you?”

His eyes softened as he noticed how hard you were trying to keep it together. You were both afraid for everyone’s safety of course, but the two of you couldn’t bare it if you or him got hurt or worse, killed. You were the love of his life, and he wasn’t about to let you be stolen from him. He’d already lost so much and come so far, he wasn’t going to let you go or let anything happen to you. If it came down to it, he would gladly give his life for you. Bucky’s eyes traced over the litter of cuts and bloodstains that were evident on your skin through parts of your ripping uniform, and he wished that he could have prevented the harm. He knew you could handle yourself, but he still wanted to be there to keep you out of any sort of pain.

He reached over to you as you relaxed your powers, holding the gun still in his metal arm. He gently held your hand for a few seconds before rubbing his thumb along the promise ring he gave you months ago before speaking, “I’m not busted up too bad doll.”  
You smiled up at him as he slowly let his grasp on your hand loosen. You wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around his neck and capture his lips into a kiss, just being with one another in the moment like it was just you and him, safe and sound. But you knew now wasn’t the time for that, it was far from the right time.

Suddenly, it was as if a hush fell over the area, you and your teammates quieting down, wondering what was happening. Bucky got his gun ready again, and you lit up your powers once more, hands again glowing blue.  
“Y/n, doll, get behind me,” he spoke urgently, but his voice was drowned out by the sound of crackling lightning as none other than Thanos himself stepped out of his dark cloud.

“Cap,” said Bruce as you all stood in shock, “That’s him.”  
\------  
Everything around you fell apart in slow motion. Rhodey and Sam were ripped from the sky while Natasha was cast off and swallowed up by the earth. Thanos continued to throw everyone who even attempted to get near him away, and as you watched him send Bucky into the ground, you charged at him, anger seething from within you. You made your powers surge beneath your fingertips, but with hands raised, you too were slammed down right onto a path of jagged rocks peeking out of the hard ground.

You stayed down but only for a few moments. Wincing in pain, you tried to sit up as you pressed a hand to your hip, only to bring it back up stained red. Blood. The rocks had pierced your skin in the fall, and the current battlefield was no place to properly assess an injury. With you knees shaking, you tried to get up, but against your will they buckled, rooting you once more. Things were still growing blurry around you. Your friends were trapped and hurt. Wanda was handling Vision. Steve was fighting Thanos one on one.  
Bucky’s eyes widened from behind his hair as he pushed against the soil. His head was pounding, but he still looked over to you, bleeding out right in front of him.

“Y-Y/n...doll! Shit...” he muttered under his breath, tears stinging once more. He slowly made his way over to you amongst the chaos, crawling to pull himself up.

You tried not to cry, you really did, but you were hurt and frustrated. You were bleeding and you body had felt drained from the hit and from your powers, but you weren’t going to give up;you weren’t ready to quit yet.

Bucky was now next to you, asking frantically if anything was broken as he helped you stand. He couldn’t see the others anymore, not even Steve. He prayed silently in his mind that they were okay, or at least that they were alive.

Standing and balancing yourself, you held out one arm nearly against Bucky in case you fell again, and the other sat against your wound. You winced with every movement, but you had to be thankful that you were at least still breathing.  
“B-Buck, we have to, have to get to the others. Where is Steve where is Th-”

But before you could utter the dreaded villain's name, a flash of white flickered, and something felt extremely wrong.  
You blinked and looked down, first at your hip, which was now healed and unscathed, and then to your surroundings. The rocks, the vines, Thanos’s traps were gone, like you had all gone back in time and the fight you just had was nonexistent.  
Bucky wasn’t even at your side anymore, and you immediately panicked before sprinting into the forest clearing, hoping someone was out there.  
\-----  
Seeing the familiar faces of your team, you stopped. Everyone was there, but a silence  
loomed over you all, haunting you. Before you could even take another step forward, a broken voice spoke, and you felt your heart plummet.

“Babydoll?”

You froze, rooted to the spot. In all the time that you had dated Bucky, you had been used to hearing nicknames like sugar, doll, and even sweetheart slip past his lips out of intimacy and love, but you knew he only used “babydoll” for certain occasions. “Babydoll” was reserved for when you rushed to his side after a nightmare or when he held you in his arms after nearly lost you on a mission. “Babydoll” was an innocent and hushed nickname of rarity. “Babydoll” was reserved for when he was paralyzed by fear. “Babydoll” was a cry for help.

“Steve?” Bucky then said, looking over to his best friend, and you could have sworn you watched his eyes flutter like they were fading out. Before you could take two heavy steps closer, Bucky’s body fell forward and burst into ashes in an instant, his gun thudding against the wet dirt. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t move, you couldn’t cry from the shock that had cascaded over you like a hurricane. Just like that, within seconds, the man you were in love with was stripped away right before your eyes. Blinking, you just noticed the tears that began to fall against your will, but it wasn’t like you were going to attempt to stop them anyways. You shakily walked over, hand to your frantically thudding heart, to where a crouching Steve sat. 

His worn glove graced over the spot where Bucky had been, the ashes sitting on his fingertips before fluttering back down in silence. You crouched down next to Steve, hand reaching out to the pile ashes too as you failed to not choke on your heartbroken sobs.  
“B-Bucky baby...where...B-B-Bucky no...please,” you cried out as your breathing turned sporadic as you begged for him to come back.  
He was gone, into thin air he was torn away from the world just like that.  
It wasn’t long before others too began to drift away into gray clouds of of ash, completely erased from existence. Gasps of shock filled the atmosphere around you, but you could only look down at where Bucky once stood. You let your grief consume you as you cried. Steve looked at you with pure sadness swirling in his eyes as well.

You couldn’t grasp it that he was gone. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You both knew the risks of battle, but nothing could have prepared you for this. Your chest heaved as you continued to mourn as thoughts and memories of him washed over you.  
You would never be able to feel his touch or hold his hand or even give him gentle loving kisses. You’d never wake up next to him again as the morning glow leaked through the windows over your intertwined bodies. No more late night conversations where whispers graced each of our lips, no more warm hugs as you watch the sunsets over the horizons, no more of his laugh or his smile or just him. No more telling him how much you were in love with him.

You broke down more as you looked at the ring that decorated your finger. The two of you were supposed to be together, you were supposed to get married. While he was recovering the two of you had even talked about settling down. He told you how it would be nice to stay there in Wakanda. It was the place of his new beginning, and he wanted nothing more than to live there in a home with you, maybe even have some babies too. You had wanted a family, and you could tell by the way he lit up around the Wakandan children when they visited on his farm that he did too. However, none of that would even be possible now.

You remembered the conversation the two of you had hours before you took the battlefield by storm. It was up near the royal palace near the area where he recovered where the two of you sat looking out the window over the land.

“You know, blue really suits you.” you had told him, letting your fingers trace over his new arm as you sat in his lap.”  
He chuckled, pulling you closer to him, “It’s weird having it back on, everything’s going so fast doll.”

You only nodded, knowing the both of you, even if you didn’t show it were nervous. Silence overcame the room as others bustled by, trapped in their own preparations.

Holding his metal hand, as the other was tight around your waist, you looked up into his eyes and spoke, “Promise me you’ll be careful out there baby. Promise you’ll come back to me.”

Bucky watched your lips quiver slightly before he pulled you into a kiss, bringing his hand to caress your cheek as he deepened it. Your eyes closed as the two of you kissed like it was your last day together, not wanting to think of the situation like that, but you had to consider the reality of war.

He pulled away and pecked your lips once more. Leaning his forehead against you own, he whispered, “I love you so damn much Y/n. I love you, I love you.”

“I love you too Buck, I always will.”

After wallowing through your memories, you remained hollow. Shaking, you slipped off the ring that Bucky had given you and le the cool metal sit in your hands. It was the only piece of him you now left. Your other half was dead, and you were empty from all the pain. If death were too soon approach you now, you’d welcome its discomfort.

Suddenly, everything grew cold. It started in your chest and snaked up your arms, capturing you completely. Struggling to breathe, you simply let the tears keep on falling into the ashes below. Without another word, your body grew weaker, causing your nimble hands to drop your promise ring. Within seconds, like those before you and like the love of your life, your eyes rolled back as you too were swept away into nothing. The same gray ashes you’d watched before now settled among those of Bucky, your ring the only glimmer within the darkened patch of ground.

Like time had stopped itself, you were erased from the world and sent off to only live on in the memories of others. With a heavy heart Steve sat defeated among his team, his friends, and looked between his best friend’s gun and the ring promising your shared future together.Nothing but the ghosts of you all remained as the silence loomed over those who survived, leaving only confusion and fear for what was to come next.


	2. Within the Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This contains no spoilers for endgame. Everything takes place in a hypothetical situation after infinity war.
> 
> Warnings: Heavy angst, reference to death? Panic attack/anxiety/emotional breakdown, crying, reference to hallucinations/manipulation (not drug induced or anything, it’s explained in the story), swearing

“M-Mr. Stark? Are you here?”

“You gotta relax, we’re figure things out.”

“The Avengers are gonna know what to do.”

“Where exactly are we?”

“What the hell just happened back there?”

Bucky’s thoughts became clouded as he tried to piece together what was happening. One by one, a mix of friends and strangers would appeared out of thin air, their eyes closed as if they resemble the dead.

 _Though at this point, he might as well be dead,_ he thought.

Snippets of hundreds of voices clouded his head. Some asked why they were here while some were simply cut off by a round of sobs that tore heartstrings to shreds. Others were simply silenced by shock, leaving open mouths and slacked jaws to let the ghost of the words pour out. Lovers looked for their soulmates while children called for their parents in a panic. Loud voices and quiet whispers, broken prayers and infants’ wails, they all vibrated in a cluttered mess against the bright orange walls of their new world.

Out of the sea of faces, Bucky could pick out some he could recognize. There was Sam who he noticed right away, wings down and tears falling slowly. There was Wanda calling for Vision and a group of Wakandan farmers he had spoken to on occasion trying to find their families. There was Spiderman who kicked his and Steve’s ass back in Berlin, but he was now an unmasked and ordinary kid, another young victim at the bloody claws of war.

His breaths came out short and scattered. So much to process in so little time, with everything gone in an instant like falling asleep only to end back up in the nightmares.

Looking around, the weight of the situation began to sink on his shoulder like a ton of bricks. Everyone here was gone from earth, maybe dead, maybe still alive, but regardless everyone was gone. No more farm, no more Steve, No more Wakanda.

_No more you._

Sinking down to sit on one of the many orange rocks that protruded from the ground, Bucky let his shoulders sink and put his arms on his knees. Head down and tears starting to fall, he let his thoughts wander again. He failed you. He broke his promise.

_Promise me you’ll be careful out there, baby._

Bucky didn’t even know where you were. Were you alive? Were you back in Wakanda, waiting for him to come back and pull you in his arms to ensure that he was safe? Were you hurt, were you alright, were you dead?

He left you alone without a goodbye, hell, he didn’t even get to tell you how much he loved you before he disappeared. He couldn’t think about you being hurt and scared and alone, perhaps on the brink of death too, wondering what had happened to him.

_Promise you’ll come back to me._

He inhaled sharply but eventually gave into his tears. He mumbled words in agony, “Babydoll, I’m…God I’m so fucking sorry. I’m so sorry Y/n. I didn’t to leave you all alone up there. I love you, god I hope you know I love you. I’m so sorry I left you baby, but I’m gonna find you again. I promise. I’m so s-sorry.”

The voices still filled his head and his worry for you only escalated to the point of where his hands started shaking. The fact that he left you rattled around in haunting echoes all around his brain, until a voice brought him back into the reality of things.

“Sergeant Barnes.”

—–

Like your eyelids were made of lead, you slowly opened them to be met with an orange glow that appeared to go on for miles. It looked so warm and golden, like the sun, but you were left feeling so cold.

You struggled to stand up to take in your surroundings, stumbling from the uneasiness. Voices seemed to echo around you so you tried to start your powers up out of protection, but your hands lacked any sign of a glow. You tried again and again, but nothing. No feeling of an electrical pulse, no buzzing, nothing.

You were alone, or so you thought.

Blinking, you watched as Wanda appeared in front of you, and a flood of relief washed over you. Tears pricked at your eyes, happy to be reunited with someone anyone, in wherever hell you were.  
“Wanda!” you called out, running over to her, “Wanda, thank God you’re here. Wanda?”

You stopped in front of her, and in your excitement, you failed to notice that she was wearing a different outfit. She had on a shorter red jacket that stopped at her waist, and it was paired with jeans and a black tank top. The last time you had seen her she was wearing her long red coat, her corset shirt, and dark pants.

“Y/n!” she smiled brightly, “Have you seen Vis? We’re supposed to be heading downtown for a reservation but it seems that he’d running late.”

You looked at her, puzzled, “Wanda, Vis is…Vis isn’t here. What reservation are you talking about?”

“The one at Antoine’s. We’ve had it booked for our year anniversary forever. We’ll never make it though if he doesn’t finish up soon.”

_A reservation at Antoine’s? For their year anniversary? That was years ago, why was she bringing it up now?_

Before you could ask though, Wanda smiled, and once again faded away into nothing.

Your heart beat rapidly in your chest as you backed away from where “Wanda” stood, only to stumble backwards and through a cold wind. Now seated on the ground, you huffed, blowing some hair out of your face. When you looked up, you were met with more familiar faces.

Natasha and Sam now stood in front of you, laughing about something that you didn’t have the context of, their suits had been stripped away to casual athletic clothing, and Nat’s hair was back in her short red bob. Their bodies whisked away in an instant, but their voices still remained. Voices on top of voices layered themselves on top of one another as they all blended in your head. A snippet of when Tony asked you to help fix one of his prototypes meshed with Clint’s voice asking you where the oreos were. Wanda’s voice replayed and commented on a shirt you were wearing, and Steve’s voice told you to take down the enemy targets that were hiding in the control room of a building.

They were all past words and interactions, playing and manifesting into beings of your friends and family that weren’t even there at all. Your breathing grew more uneven as the overwhelming amount of voices brought you to your knees. The line between what was real and an illusion was growing harder to decipher.

Pressing your hands to your head you tried to take everything in.

_What’s happening? Why are they all here, or not here?_

Suddenly, your eyes fell onto a pair of worn boots. In front of you was Bucky, dressed head to toe in his new suit with his blue and gold arm gleaming against the orange glow of the world.

“Babydoll?” he murmured, tears pooling in his eyes as he staggered forward, “Steve?”

You let out a sob, wanting nothing more than for Bucky to be here with you, or at least have him be somewhere safe again. You reached out only to have Bucky fade away beneath your fingertips. Breaking down, you clutched your chest in agony as you failed to process everything.

Just like that, he was gone again. It was nothing but a lie dangling teasingly in front of your face.

The orange swirled around you in a haze as you sunk lower into the ground, screaming as the weight of everything consumed you into tortured anguish.  
—  
It was undeterminable just how much time had passed.Though people were still upset and afraid, the shock of the situation had begun to slowly filter away.

While Bucky was overwhelmed with his worry at losing and leaving you, Shuri had managed to find him, the same broken expression resting on her face. After a brief yet comforting talk, Bucky had learned that she too was worried and alone too, for she had yet to find her own family.

Shuri had explained to him that she had no idea as to where her mother or brother had gone. She had been alone up in the laboratory when everything started to feel sickly and cold. They could have been in the stone, or they could be in Wakanda, hopefully looking for her.

Now Bucky was with some of the others that he had seen earlier. Sam, Wanda, Peter, Shuri, and him had all formed a small group of their own. They’d all broken off to try to find more fallen Avengers and family members,but had been struggling to do so for a while. The only progress that came was when they met with a magician with a red cape and a talking tree, but other than that, they hadn’t found anyone else.

“They have to be around here somewhere, we were all at the same place when we…you know,” Peter said while trying to make his hands mimic the dusting incident, “When I was in space there was…I forget his name but there was another guy who went like right before me. Oh and Mantis! She’s gotta be here too, probably?”

Strange cut in, “He’s right. We were all there at the same time and place. If they are here, they shouldn’t be too far away.”

Bucky simply nodded along, “We’ve checked out most of this area, so we could move onto-”

“Jesus,” murmured Peter under his breath as he looked over at the distance in worry.

“Kid, I thought I said not to call me that any…” Bucky’s words died off as he looked to where Peter was now staring. His eyes fell onto you hunched over and sitting alone on the ground. What the hell were you doing here? 

However, his thoughts were quicky cast away as he took in your state. Your hands were on your chest as you were seated on your knees, your body shaking with every uneven breath. Strained tears rolled down your cheeks as the world seemed to fall apart around you, your thoughts hammering harder and harder. 

_You’re alone in who even knows where, they screamed, you’re probably dead or alive or trapped and alone. Everyone’s gone, you’re alone. Bucky is dead. Dead, dead, Bucky’s dead.  
Immediately, he rushed over to you side, tears spilling over in relief and fear._

“D-Doll is that-” he tried to say, but was immediately cut off by you.

“Get away!” You screamed, hands clutching tighter against yourself as you looked up at Bucky, “You’re not real. Get out of my head. No just, j-just leave me alone!”

Bucky stopped, slowing down and trying to get down to your level. He didn’t want to make things worse or startle you, so he tried to remain as calm and distant as possible, even if his heart was shattering at million miles a minute.

“Babydoll…”

“Get. Out. You’re not real. Bucky’s dead. He’s dead. You’re in my head, Bucky is fucking gone, just leave me alone!”

“It must be the stone,” started Strange as he looked at Bucky, his lips growing downward, “It made some of the other victims see their loved ones too. They must think you’re another illusion.”

Bucky tried to approach you cautiously. “Doll, Y/n, it’s me. I promise it’s me. I need you to breathe though. In and out with me. Please, doll,” he spoke softly. At that moment it was just you and him, no one else.

“You’re. Not. Real,” you seethed, still looking at whatever cruel illusion was in front of you. _Bucky was dead he’s dead he’s dead he’s dead._

Bucky whispered, “I’m right here. Please. I want to help you. Tell me what’s best that will help you. Breathe, doll.”

Your cheeks were a burning red and your breaths were still heaving in shortened breaths. It wasn’t him. It was just a hopeful mirage, a fantasy. It was nothing more than a memory being used against you.

He was kneeling down now, his metal hand extending out towards you but still inches away from your form. Strange held out a hand to keep Peter from getting too close, and the two watched with pained expressions as the scene in front of them filled with tension.

Your breathing had started to slow down, not by much, but ever so slightly. Your eyes clouded with another round of tears as you pulled yourself up, shuffling away from him.  
Bucky felt so useless. He wanted to reach out and pull you into a hug. He wanted to tell you how sorry he was and hold you, whispering that everything was gonna be okay, but he couldn’t do anything. If he got too close, you could react negatively and the last thing he wanted to do was frighten you.

 _It’s a trick,_ your mind screamed. _It isn’t real. Nothing is real. He’s not real, no one is real. It’s just you. No. No. No._

“Doll…” his voice cracked. He was breaking on the inside.

You looked into his eyes that were now swirling with worry. You were still afraid and scared, but cautiously, you began to move your own shaky hand towards his own.

_He isn’t real._

Your hand hovered right above his and the pounding in your head only increased.

_He is dead. It’s an illusion._

You tried to inhale, but with your erratic breathing, you struggled.

_Bucky. Is. Gone._

You closed your eyes, still shaking and head still screaming, and put your hand into his. There wasn’t an empty feeling. It didn’t just feel like you were trying to grasp air like earlier. It was cool and smooth beneath your touch. You could feel the dips and lines where the metal plates met one another, and you could feel his thumb softly rub against your knuckles.More tears spilt down in rivers as you looked up into his own blue eyes, your body shaking more.

You choked out, “B-Bucky. Bucky?”

By now Bucky, was trying to hold back his own tears, “Yeah, it’s me doll. It’s me. Can you breathe with me?”

You squeezed his hand tighter as you tried to level your breathing with his, but still couldn’t control it enough.

“Y/n, it’s going to be okay,” he paused, noticing a change in your state, “In and out. You’re doing so well, babydoll. I’m proud of you. Keep breathing with me, okay? I love you. I love you so much, Babydoll. You’re doing a great job.”

Minutes blurred together and your breathing began to lull back to its usual pace. After more silence, you broke it with a soft cry.

“I-I thought you were dead. You disappeared and so did I, I-I think” you said as you struggled, but Bucky calmed you down again.

“I did, we did. We’re somewhere in the soul stone, or realm, or wherever Strange said.”

Your hand remained in his while you brought the other to brush against his chin, the stubble scratching against your palm.

He continued on, “I’m sorry, babydoll. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

You felt his hot tears run into your hand. You pulled him closer into your touch, giving him permission to hold you, to which he gladly sunk into.

Bucky tucked his face into the crook of your neck and wrapped his arms tightly around you. The two of you held one another on the floor, never letting go. His chest heaved as he pressed against you, mumbling his apologies to you.

“I didn’t mean to leave you. I was supposed to be there for you. God I’m so f-fucking sorry. I couldn’t protect you, I-I didn’t even tell you goodbye. I love you Y/n. I love you so much. I’m so sorry.”

“Shhh, it’s not your fault,” you said, pressing a kiss to his hair, “I was so scared. I thought I lost you forever.”

“I’m sorry, doll.”

You placed a short but gentle kiss onto his lips. His hands tightened around you more as you shushed him,” It isn’t your fault baby. Not at all. But look, you found me. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Bucky pulled you back into another kiss, but this time every ounce of passion in his body was pooled into it, tears still streaming against skin, “I love you. God I love you so much it fucking hurts. I’m going to protect you. We’ll find a way to get out of here, I promise.”


End file.
